Realignment.

“I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow.”

― Margaret Mitchell, Gone with the Wind

Photo from Unsplash, Jen P.

Everyone has this thing called mental bandwidth, or an energy container.

On some days, we are overflowing with it and highly productive on those days. But on some days, we are just running short on this bandwidth - too many decisions or too many distractions. Or sometimes just suddenly at loss of what's ahead looking at an empty bottle of fuel.

It requires bandwidth to override our built-in cognitive biases and engage in rational thinking. - Medium

This past week has been that way for me - I was procrastinating so badly. I didn't feel like completing my work or when I had that extra buffer of time, I just didn't feel like fully utilising them to work on more graphics on engage in the course I'm learning. My mind was thoroughly stretched to be thinking of anything else. I was in this state of blur, of laze and of boredom. I couldn't focus on anything, not even this new anime I'm watching 🤧 I could absolutely blame it on mood swing but I just want to be investigative and find out a potential solution to my current staleness. And I look into my routine; what has changed?

I stopped exercising for a while.

I was very busy last week but I managed to fork out time for exercise twice but I haven't been running for quite a while or having much alone time to exercise 'in peace' (I usually exercise in the kitchen and it is really not the most convenient place or time to do it). I think I have recently become more introverted and always need some time to wind down and be alone, being in a noisy place for too long really wears me out. But my work nature required me to stay extroverted for 3 nights... I think the aftereffect is really being reflected on this week.

My room is cluttered.

I have been putting off tidying up my room because I was too busy (all excuses 😪 basically I'm just too lazy). Honestly this did not really affect my productivity but it is sucking away some of my bandwidth since I have one more item on my to-do list and backlogging for quite a while. Furthermore, I was working quite frequently on my bed and it ended up quite 'dirty', I got itchy when I sleep at night. Finally changed out my blanket today!

Also another thing about working on my bed, it does blur the line of work and rest space so I got a little cluttered in my mind space with what I am doing for this environment. And it makes me restless to be working at my desk now. (eeks)

I had a huge workload contrast from the previous week.

This week was luckily a pretty chill one, but I think this is one of the reasons for my restlessness too. It is funny how being too busy makes one anxious but having not much to do kinda make me directionless as well. Since now I have more windows of free time, I don't know how to spend them. I think it does fall back to my poor planning since I blocked out too much time for my regular work so with the fall in the amount of workload, I was at loss of what I can do. I think I can talk about "why sometime planning can fail too" next time 🤔

Briefly, I think it is always great to leave some flexibility on how your day would turn out because time blocking can sometimes be straining especially if you are experiencing low energy for the day and you look at the packed time schedule, it is going to be a huge turn off. Which call forth effective planning taking into account your preferences and curating a personalised system that will fit seamlessly into your way of life. I used to be someone who is super spontaneous but I come to realise how planning would help me become more productive and mindful of the way I spend my time, but right now I am trying to seek a balance between both and draw on the greatness of both to enjoy a better system moving forward.

So how to get rid of the restlessness or get out of this staleness?

It takes changes to feel a change.

So to start filling in the empty space I have been experiencing, the way is to take action.

I dive into working on creating graphics during the free time in my week, and push through to read on my course material whenever I get a mini spike of energy (or simply get myself into anxious mood to work, because there's a weekly check-in).

Instead of stressing myself to crunch out more ideas for blog or pushing myself to create graphics, I simply take a break to tidy up all my clothes and finally make baked potato which kind of succeeded 😛

And one final factor that make me alive again is really exercising 🤸🏻 🧗🏻‍♀️ It is saddening to see your body going out of shape again when you have put in so much effort to build it up so I think this has made me a bit depressed that I didn't keep up with my habit. I will have to be more mindful and discipline in following through my work-out plan.

To make it worse, it has become a little bit rigid for me to exercise because I dyed my hair recently and I want to try extending the colouring which means I can't wash my hair as frequently and that SUCKS. Perhaps, I am just going to give up being extraordinary with my hairstyle altogether after this.

Overall, I am feeling a little bit better, so I am writing this.

If you find yourself feeling blocked at any point of time, try not to start blaming yourself for being unproductive. Try your best to complete the priorities and wind down a bit to check in with yourself - either identify signs of burnout or simply freshen your mind and do something new.

Realign yourself by taking regular check in and break, that is the key to staying productive most of the time!